Baobao in Comfort
It took me twenty minutes to decide on an image for this post. But then, it was a lot to take in and a lot of emotions to process. At the end, I decided that projecting Baobao at her favorite place during the last day of her life was the most appropriate and captures a more accurate portrait of her characters.
On January 16, 2008 at around 10PM, Baobao took her last laboring breathe and her heart stopped beating. The life of a cat with strong characters came to an end. The burden of this tough call was ours to make as guardians of our pet. For those who knew, Baobao suddenly exhibited symptoms of acute asthma attacks late last year, and her conditions just kept getting worse after a couple of weeks of seemingly healthy recovery.
In the days leading to her euthanasia, her asthma inhaler dosages increased dramatically from 1-3 puffs a day to 13 puffs, and then finally during her last day, 30+ puffs. Modern medicine was finally overcome by the illness.
Bryan didn’t quite understand what happened. And I scrambled to Google for ways to explain the whole idea of “death” of our pet to our two-and-a-half-year-old. It was especially heartbreaking when he routinely said his good nights last night to Baobao as he prepared for bed time albeit to a photograph of Baobao.
I am glad Wawa also came along with us to the hospital as I think she understood what was going on. She got all freaked out and kept meowing as Baobao collapsed beside her in the pet carrier and struggled to breathe on our way to the hospital. She hasn’t looked for Baobao yet since we got back. So she must knows.
The house feels unusually empty even with two adults, a toddler and a cat. It’s hard to comprehend just the mere presence of life can fill a room, and the void of it can make even the most crowded space empty. But it does.
I once read a quote that goes something like this: “We don’t just live. We survive.” After living through the grief of losing a family pet, the quote rings ever more faithful to its core as we try to cope with the loss. And so march on we must with our own lives after saying a heartbreaking goodbye to our friend. March on, we must.
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January 18th, 2008 at 8:40 am
We’re sorry for your loss, Chu. Baobao seemed like she was suffering a lot in these last few weeks. I think you did the most you could for her. That’s still not a decision I would want to be faced with.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I’m sorry for your loss. Letting go is probably the hardest thing in life.
Don’t worry about Bryan. Children understand the concept of life and death at a very early age, around three years of age. Maybe he’s a bit too young, but the important thing is how you behave. Saying goodbye in a warm and meaningful way is a very good idea, and not hiding your own emotions from Bryan is very important for his own emotional development.
January 18th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Well said.
I’m so sorry
January 19th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Sorry for your loss.
January 19th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. I too, have had to make that heartbreaking decision put a beloved cat to sleep. My heart goes out to you.
January 21st, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Thank for your messages, guys.
@Sebastian: Yeah, Bryan is having a tough time understanding the concept of “death”. But he had a breakthrough the other day. Without out any prompting, he went and told our other cat, Wawa that Baobao was gone but that Bryan loves Wawa so that it’s okay. And he continues to say his good nights to a picture of Baobao every night.